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Sarah Palin

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Sarah Palin used to be a beauty queen [1] and was possibly a future VPILF, but we have no idea why!
We sometimes like to mix parody and satire with good information. We know you're smart enough to tell the difference.

Sarah Palin (born February 11, 1964), is the governor of Alaska, dont cha know. But until 7AM on an August morning in 2008, few people in the other 49 states knew who she was...or cared to know. On August 29, 2008 Senator John McCain (R)-Arizona named her nominee for United States Vice President.

She is a former beauty pageant queen who dropped out of four other colleges before finally graduating from the University of Idaho with a degree in Journalism.

As governor of Alaska she fired her ex brother in law, and got her husband a job as an executive with the BP company. She collaborated with Ted Stevens over a controversial pipeline. Later, she tried to cover that up. [2]

Sarah Palin hates polar bears; she believes they are evil and likely believes them to be the devil's abomination. She even tried to persuade the Bush administration to remove polar bears from the Endangered Species List to acquire more land space for oil drilling. [3].

Fortunately, Americans had enough sense not to elect McCain or her. She might run for president in 2012 with Joe the Plumber as a running mate. There may be no Republican better than she is, which is saying a lot. [4]

Contents

Would she have been a bad VP, if elected?

  • Palin believes that Ronald Reagan the Sky Wizard created the world...6,000 years ago. [5]
  • She believes in Abstinence-Only Sex-Ed [6], and thinks sex should only happen after marriage [7]. Yet, she has a knocked-up daughter [8]. But does maintain that abstinence is not 100% as shown by Sky Wizard's Son. It seems she opened her hotel door early in the morning wearing only a towel. Not exactly the best way to promote abstinence. [9] But this hypocrisy should not be surprising; it is a trademark of the Republican party.
  • She tells lies, although this is not surprising, either, considering that this is a common trait amongst conservative politicians. What is noteworthy is that she's extraordinarily dumb, even for a creationist. [10]
  • It seems that Palin hasn’t got 'round to studying geography. Apparently, she didn’t even know that Africa is a continent; she thought it was all one country. [11] While the Republican Party may be full of idiots, don't they have someone who's at least marginally more suitable as Vice President?
  • She abused her power as governor in Alaska. [12][13] She sacked Public Safety Commissioner Walt Monegan. She says he refused to sack Michael Wooten, a state law enforcement official, and Mr. Wooten was unsuitable for the job. Her opponents say this was a family dispute, because Mr. Wooten was involved in a bitter divorce action against Palin’s sister. Sensible people know that when something like that happens you get an impartial person to decide who should be sacked. Even sysops on wikis know that if they have a personal dispute and the other party seems to need a block you get an impartial admin to deal with it.
He (McCain) also said his running mate Sarah Palin inspired people and predicted she "would play a big role in the future of this country". [10].
Does that mean she’ll carry on embarrassing the Republican Party and the United States?

Signs of Mental Disability

  • Palin claims to be able to see Russia from her house (irrational belief/lie, just plain silly). [citation needed]
  • Has an imaginary friend named Joe the Plumber Who many believe to be a real person named Samuel who in fact is not a plumber.
  • Claimed to have read all magazines then was unable to name one she read (incredible lie!).
  • Has similar thoughts and belief of George W. Bush.
  • Has been involved in beauty pageants.
  • She's a young Earth creationist.
  • She's a Republican.
  • Has a mental disability.

External links

References

  1. Sarah Palin: Former Beauty Queen, Future VP?
  2. [1]
  3. [2]
  4. [3]
  5. [4]
  6. [5]
  7. [6]
  8. [7]
  9. [8]
  10. Dumb Sarah Palin Quotes, Gaffes and Lies - Updated Frequently
  11. [9]
  12. Palin abused power, probe finds
  13. Q&A: Palin 'Troopergate' affair