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Affirmative Action President

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Conspinsmall
For those who live in an alternate reality, the so-called-experts at Conservapedia have an article about Affirmative_Action_President.


An Affirmative Action President is a person selected for that office based partly or entirely on traits other than that person's political platform. In 2000, Affirmative Action was used in this way to fill the position of President of the United States, when George W. Bush became the nation's first mentally-disabled Commander in Chief.

Before the American Civil War, white racists supported alcohol-poisoned brain-damaged politicians by fielding presidents such as Franklin Pierce and James Buchanan, which created a bias that favored stupid people over the intelligent even in issues far more important than Presidential elections. When such racists formed the Dixiecrat party that eventually joined the Republicans in the 1950s, Affirmative Action for stupid white racists was once again central to the conservative platform.

Some liberals strongly support Affirmative Action. As they support Affirmative Action such that it does not overshadow merit or excuse blatant racist stupidity, it is a logical extension of this support that conservatives would twist it and completely defeat the purpose in favor for the presidency also.

These supporters of an Affirmative Action President are likely to support a candidate based in part on their sympathy for the candidate's alcohol-induced stupidity in order to bring historical diversity to the position and promote broader acceptance of self-induced mental deficiency.

Under the conservative ideology, a candidate's populist promotion of substance abuse and mental deficiencies is considered to be as important as, and perhaps more important than, traditional criteria of qualifications and experience.

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This is direct parody of a Conservapedia article.

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