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Baseball is America's current pastime, the previous one being cricket. One guy throws a ball at another guy, but a guy in between those guys tries to hit that ball with a stick. If he does, a bunch of other guys try to catch the ball while the guy with the stick throws the stick away and runs in a circle. Then they do the whole thing over again, at least 55 times over the course of a game.
If the guy who throws the ball hits the guy with the sick in the head too many times, all the guys start punching each other. That's what happens when a bunch of grown men are shooting large quantities of steroids and growth hormone.
Sometimes the Conservatives send all the baseball players to war, and then girls have to play baseball instead. It's true.