Creative
 

Conservapedia

From Liberapedia

Here we're parodying Conservapedia and we know we're exaggerating.

Conservapedia is a wiki that contains biased Conservative views. It was created with the sole purpose of turning people into apes. Of course it’s a huge plan to brainwash mankind and make them think the earth is flat, it could only be thought as an ill-conceived ultra-orthodox Angry Christian site started by a couple of old church ladies in apparent response to an imagined liberal bias on the part of wikipedia (The truth is that, to far-right conservatives, it is reality that has a left wing bias - not Wikipedia, which is actually Conservative or Libertarian biased.).


Conservapedia asserts misinformed opinion as fact. They equate homosexuality with polygamy and liberals with terrorists.

A logical response to Conservapedia would sound something like this: "All hail the hypno-toad. Al Gore will lead the liberal nation to glorious empire upon the moon."

It is a fundamentalist Christian wiki encyclopedia project which promotes Biblical creation science and rejects evolution. Liberals (and any people with common sense) criticize it heavily. It is the subject of ridicule from those who are used to getting information without a heavy dose of fundamentalist hilarity. Its most heavily-viewed pages are about such topics as homosexuality, Wikipedia, and Adolf Hitler.

While Liberapedia is obviously very much against the ethnocentric bias displayed in Conservapedia, we would like to make it clear that we respect their right to a free opinion, even if we do not necessarily agree with it.

The very latest silliness at Conservapedia is recorded at, Digging the Dirt on the Lunacy that is Conservapedia.

Contents

History

Conservapedia was started in early 2006. At first it was mainly written by home-schooled creationist children, making it little better than ... well. Those sad little home-schooled children will suffer all their lives because of their poor education.
The symbol of Conservapedia

The site became more famous than it ever deserved to be when progressives discovered it and trolled it. Progressives began vandalizing it and linking to it from blogs urging people to vandalize or debate with them. This almost certainly accounted for better than two thirds of the hits Conservapedia got at that point.

Later some scientifically minded people began to try to inject evolutionary dogma into the site - but soon ran afoul of Conservapedia's blocking policy (insert leftist bull=a block). Evolution became a battle-ground and later doughnuts. But the scientists could not hold the line. The scientists had the rational arguments but Andrew Schlafly had the computer keys. Schlafly exiled them in what became known as the "Night of the Blunt Knives". Some entered on the long trek to RationalWiki where they first plotted to troll Conservapedia. But later they forgot their proletariat roots and became another bourgeois wiki concerned about its own hit count.

Others founded the Almighty Liberapedia wiki you are reading now, and which is one of the sources of truth and fact on the internet.

Meanwhile, CP continues on its own path of biblical literalism and republicanism, making it a source of "truth." and hilarity.

Educational value of Conservapedia

No this is not a member of NAMBLA this is Conservapedia Creator Andrew Schlafly

"First get your facts; then you can distort them at your leisure"- Mark Twain

Conservapedia, like any encyclopedia (especially those using the open-editing wiki format), is prone to errors. There is reason to believe that Conservapedia is actually far inferior to Wikipedia and that its articles are not to be trusted. Conservapedia's math and history articles have been criticized for a plethora of errors,[1] while a numerical comparison of Conservapedia articles with articles in Wikipedia have shown Conservapedia's articles to be lagging in quality.[2]

Conservapedia folks imagine they could actually surpass the folks at Wikipedia in terms of accuracy, coverage and comprehensiveness - after all, founder Andrew Schlafly did intend it to be a home schooling tool - something which universities and schools do not view Wikipedia as being worthy of. However, it appears (from the wonderfully compact size of blurbs they steal from Conservapedia for extension on Rational Wiki) Conservapedia is too retardated to work for education. They mainly censor people who present evidence that is in against their views, and Schlafly fails utterly at spelling.

Blocking Policy

On Conservapedia, you can be blocked for...

...using the wrong sort of English (ie using words that you learned after preschool)
...questioning the opinions of the admins. Some of them are so stupid they can't answer questions
...making a username which an admin disagrees with. (That used to mean anything that doesn't praise Ronald Reagan, George W. Bush, God or Jesus) Now that means anything except a Christian name and the first letter of a second name.
...trying to discuss things to improve Conservapedia
...being a God hater
...having a friend who is not Christian
...admitting to using birth control or condoms
...admitting that Fox News isn't Fair and Balanced
...understanding that the American government was wrong about Iraq though Conservapedia pretends that's a "lie"
...knowing that the French are not complete idiots, they are far less silly than Conservatives
...saying that the UK was a strong nation during WWII, and that America wasn't the best of them all
...realizing that Christianity, a religion that says you should not kill, has caused millions of people to die over the last thousand years (crusades, inquisitions, lynchings, holocausts, etc.)

Note: If you question Andy, then he will brand you as a liberal. While perfectly sane people know that isn't bad at all, as a matter of fact it's a very good thing, Andy will block you for it.

What to do if they block you

  • Join Liberapedia
  • Join Rational Wiki
  • Write about what's wrong with Constipedia Controlfreakapedia Conservapedia at either of the two above Wikis. They can't block you for what you write away from the Conservapedia banhammer. They can't revert it either, that's cool.

After you have joined the two aforementioned wikis, do the following. The steps below will work provided your Internet Service Provider gives you a dynamic IP Adress:

  1. . Log out of Conservapedia.
  2. . Unplug modem from the wall and go to sleep. Alternatively switch off the modem. Wait a minute or so. Switch it back on. That changes a dynamic IP Address. Some Internet Service Providers change your IP every few hours. Others change the IP every time you switch off.
  3. . Wake up in morning, walk downstairs in your jammies, and drink a steamy cup of hot cocoa (include marshmallows).
  4. . Replug modem to the wall and look at your new IP address. Alternatively look at your new IP Adress a minute after you switched the modem back on.
  5. . Go back to Confarceapedia with a sockpuppet and let MAndy, Ed Poop, Bungler, and JPratt know what you think of them.
  6. . Wait for blocking.
  7. . Repeat as needed.
  8. . ????
  9. . PROFIT!!!!

Note Conservapedia has restarted using range blocks. The above may not work as well as it used to.
If you have a static IP Adress or if you are range blocked, or if you don't want to be range blocked, look for proxies. However, most proxies have been blocked, so the absolute best tool is Tor. Tor is a dynamic IP that no block, range, IP, or username can stop.

Conservapedia says:

All of these need citations!

  1. All kangaroos are descended from a single pair who were on Noah's Ark.
  2. Gravity is an unproven theory.
  3. Einstein's General Relativity "has nothing to do with physics".
  4. Only followers of Christianity are capable of religious faith.
  5. Atheists are incapable of being moral.
  6. Jews are "touchy" about the Holocaust.
  7. Some of the most violent homicides seen by pathologists are among male homosexuals.
  8. The Beach Boys are an example of heavy metal.
  9. There were dinosaurs on Noah's Ark.
  10. The Earth is the center of the universe
  11. Rock music causes riots.[1]
  12. McCarthyism was good.
  13. Ann Coulter is hot and spicy.
  14. Belief in the Theory of Relativity leads to a belief in moral relativity (a bad thing).
  15. Dinosaurs are "generally believed" to be extinct.
  16. "God exercises eternal and righteous judgment of the wicked in hell."
  17. Homosexuality can cause bad smoking habits.
  18. Barack Hussein Obama is both a Communist, an Atheist and a Muslim.
  19. HUSSEIN Obama has not provided a birth certificate.
  20. Osama Bin Laden is an Iraqi
  21. No one who believes in the Christian God has ever killed anyone.
  22. Hitler was "an evolutionary racist" [2]
  23. Barack Obama is an Atheist and a Muslim...IN THE SAME PARAGRAPH! [3]
  24. In the commandments, it explicitly forbids using BCE and CE, it wants to use BC and AD.

"Vandalism"

Inserting irrefutable facts as facts is considered vandalism at Conservapedia, most of Conservapedia's vandalism is actually people removing blatant falsehoods and misrepresented facts.

Censorship

There are numbers of examples of censorship on Conservapedia.

Mention of Rational Wiki is strictly forbidden. On this link you can see JPatt (Conservapedia's security guard) deleting JewishConservative's (Conservapedia user) user page content which mentions RW.

After that JewishConservative asks JPatt why did he delete the mention of RW on his page and are sysops allowed to do that. JPatt answers him by saying that is a rule (...Mentioning those rats is forbidden here... it is a rule.). JewishConservative asks him to post a link to the rule that forbidds the mention of RW. Then JPatt says that is an unwritten rule.

If you don't believe this occured, well... I'm going to supply you with a link.

TK then (in order to help) tells JC to check out Conservapedia:Administrators Administrators and Bureaucrats are the Administrators of Conservapedia. Their instructions, as to Conservapedia policy and/or the appropriateness or inappropriateness of user actions, are to be followed. However, there is still nothing there that mentions anything about the sysops' right to remove the mentions of RW.

Suggested Course of Action

Note: When it's bed time in America Conservapedia disallows edits, claiming that "The action you have requested is limited to users in one of the groups: Administrators, edit". You don't count as far as Andrew Schlafly cares if you're outside America and you must wait 'till someone has woken up over there and allowed edits again.

Don't Go To Conservapedia Any More.

Except for 4 things:

  1. Comedic relief. But even then, on any given page there is a 30% chance of headdesk from loss of faith in humanity.
  2. To support the Liberal Revolution against Conservapedia! If you want to join in, simply make an account. It should NOT contain the word Liberal or anything that is liberal-y, instead place words that inspire "warm fuzzies" in Conservatives, such as JesusLover4evr or ReaganResurrected. Or choose something simple that won’t attract attention. At the moment Conservapedia insists on a first name with the first letter of a second name in capitals. So just choose a nice sounding Christian first name. It can be your real sex or the other sex. That way, they won't suspect a thing, and they will be stunned when you start to VANDALIZE!! Those old church ladies will never defeat the amazing powers of mass spam, and perhaps break a hip when trying to fix it! They will be resigned when you start to VANDALIZE!! They get more vandalism than other contributions.
  3. You might be a diabolical reader who knows how to internet-method-act. If so, they make a perfectly innocuous username on CP, make perfectly innocuous mainspace edits, and don't put anything inflamatory on your userpage. Then IMITATE ANDY and use such methods as the Schlafly Reversal and the Schlafly Liberalator and protect the "truth" in key debates. Don't EVER question Andy. Do this for a year or so, adding content and bashing "liberals" using "logic," and perhaps Andy will make you a sysop. When he promotes you, be sure to thank Andy profusely, then send our warm fuzzy notices to the other admins. Wait one to two days doing perfectly normal CP sysop-type things, such as making full use of the Schlafly Rearguard, then--GO INSANE! PROTECT EVERYTHING! BLOCK EVERYONE! SPAM THE ADMINS! It'll be the ultimate vengeance! You'll be welcomed into Liberapedia with fanfare. RationalWiki will celebrate you as a hero. Start right away! But don't do anything malicious, or you might just get "refered to the authorities." DON'T EVER MENTION THE FBI INCIDENT.
  4. Edit some obscure articles and indirectly indicate that the Earth is older than twice the bristle cone pine tree's lifespan. NEVER question God's existence, even though we know there is no God (at least in the way as conservatives see it). You will be forming "islands of safety", places where Conservapedia is true.

Hypocrisy

Conservapedia is riddled with sad hypocrisy. Click here to view the ever growing article.

Racism and sexism

Since Blacks and females are more progressive than conservatives, Conservapedia appears racist. Their article on Barack Obama refers to him as the first "Affirmative Action" President. The article on Condoleezza Rice, however, takes an very positive view of her, with absolutely zero criticism. It appears that Conservapedia focuses more on slandering the Democrats and supporting the Republicans than being racist/sexist, as they never complain about Rice Being black.

On the other hand, they realy can't stand Muslims, claiming that "the overwhelming majority of modern terrorists are Muslims", and include "Osama bin Laden" in the "Notable Muslim" list.

Andrew Schlafly went to university with Obama and outsiders can only guess at what resentments have been festering for decades over that. See Barack Obama compared to Andrew Schlafly. Conservapedia was started up just about the time that people were beginning to notice that Obama might run for President.

Disdain for the letter "U"

In England, words such as "color" and "humor" are spelt with extra u's; "colour" and "humour." While Liberapedia accepts this, as several editors here are British, "English-English" spellings on Conservapedia are classed as anti-American. As are spellings using the letter s rather than z, i.e. "organisation" rather than "organization." It is believed this stems from the editors' beliefs that the letters "U" and "S" should not be used excessively without the letter "A", thus completing the abbreviation: USA.

Young Earth Creationist View on Conservapedia


Nonsense
"LearJet Four Lima Golf, this article or section may be utter nonsense. Do you copy?" "LearJet Four Lima Golf, copy." "LearJet Four Lima Golf, nonsense acknowledged."
Young Earth Creationists believe Conservapedia is run by a coterie of ultra-liberal conservationists determined to drive conservatives away from religion with an editorial policy that insures every article on the site makes out that all Christians are irrational airheads. The YEC community also believes that the liberal deceit in every article on the site is designed to persuade conservatives that homeschooling inevitably produces illiterate fanatics. Prominent spokespeople for the YEC and Homeschooling movement have pointed to passages in Revelations that predict an evil twin will be created as a mirror image of The One True Wikipedia for the purpose of leading the faithful astray and into the clutches of the Evil One.

Notable Subtleties

Sometimes NeoconPedia isn't so obvious with it's rants. The Article on Jew has a section called "Life Cycle", as if they are talking about a species of animal. Going around calling Jews animals may be biologically true, but it still sounds racist. (But does conservapedia believe all Humans are Animals?).

The article on ramadan states that many muslims "spend several hours praying and studying the Qur'an". Implying excessive devoutness. Now Christians that go to church several times a week aren't excessively devout are they?

The Hitler article slanders the theory of evolution.

See also

External links

References

  1. ↑ Abstract Nonsense:Conservapedia
  2. ↑ AJS.com
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