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Conservapedia Sysops

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Andrew Schlafly is the editor and horrible dictator in charge of Conservapedia. He rules Conservapedia and blocks all unfortunate little editors who can't agree with him all the time and are too high principled to pretend they agree. Aschlafly, Assfly he has many names chooses the sysops and they follow his policies though some get fed up with his dictatorships and leave.

Opressive sysop overlordsEdit

Here we're parodying Conservapedia and we know we're exaggerating.
Glenn Beck showing his NAZI tourettes

a typical Conservapedia overlord

The sysops of Conservapedia are much like oppressive Internet overlords. They spend much of their time sitting in front of a computer rooting out free thought and/or logic.

Internet Opression

Any idea that goes against the great Schlafly or anything not reactionary Republican will be denounced as liberal propaganda. The sysop overlord Karajou is the Himler to Andrew Schlafly's Hitler. Seriously this sysop is a grade A conservative douche hole cockbag he's not very nice. Although it has been noted that these sysops react violently towards logic, so if a liberal encounters one in the field his best defence is any form of logic. Even if you’re logical they’ll block you anyway.

AschlaflyEdit

Main Article: See Andrew Schlafly

The founder/dictator of Conservapedia, and teacher/groomer of what he proclaims to be the "world's largest homeschooled class". Though he proclaims himself to be the intellectual leader of the Conservapedians, he regularly misses glaring errors in his own spelling and grammar, resulting in brilliant lulz for the rest of us. He has been known to stump many dissenting liberals with his brainy comebacks such as "Godspeed" or just plain pulling non-sequitur's out of his arse and then blocking them before they can reply with "what the hell has that got to do with anything?"

RSchlaflyEdit

Main Article: See Roger Schlafly

Andy Schlafly's brother, and, for someone with a PhD, a truly stupid man. He seems to disbelieve in relativity and evolution, and leans towards the geocentric theory of the solar system. Thankfully he's on Conservapedia less & less. An argumentative type, he employs the traditional CP debating style of asking questions of editors but never answering responses, and then banning them. Favorite quote (from Geocentric Theory): "There is nothing kooky in the article. Everything there has been conventional wisdom for almost a century. Are you claiming that something there is wrong? If so, what?"[1]

TKEdit

Main Article: See TK

TK was a two faced bully who merited his own article. Widely thought of by many in the anti-Conservapedia wiki community as a troll hoping to take down Conservapedia after crawling entirely up Andy's arse, TK has done some truly despicable things in the past, throwing accusations of the worst kind at others with no proof whatsoever. He spent his days on Conservapedia blocking quite large numbers of editors.

Whatever the reason for TK’s difficult persona online Internet users need to be on their guard against those who appear friendly but tear communities down because there are others like him online and offline.

RobSEdit

An old fashioned right-winger of the anti-Communist kind, RobS is more paranoid and psychotic than Joe McCarthy & George W. Bush put together. As Conservapedia's Director of Internal Counterintelligence, he seems to think that the more surveillance and the less freedom, the better. When an editor posts information of which he is ignorant, he cries "Disinformation!" and then bans them. Rob is also convinced of the deep evil of the gay rights movement. There is a communist hiding under his bed, a liberal in his woodpile, and you can guess who is hiding in his closet.

He is also an expert in producing false documents. He is a major contributor in a bogus falsified article on Indian activist Arundhati Roy. In the article, RobS created a section titled "Support for terrorism" which has information on her opposition to abuse of prisoners in Abu Ghraib during Iraq War. No sourced information in the article is saying she supported any terrorist activity or encouraged to commit terrorist act. Since she opposed the abuse of prisoners in Abu Ghraib, he labeled her as supporter of terrorism.

ConservativeEdit

Also known as "Kenservative" and lovingly called "Kendoll" by anti-Conservapedia wikis, Conservative was kicked off of Wikipedia for poor writing (consisting only of cutting & pasting "mined" block-quotes) and a farcically far-right creationist perspective. Conservative is notorious for his poor editing skills which see him taking on average 20-30 edits to add a single news item to the main page. He is the writer and protector of many articles that attempt to highlight the dangers of liberalism, atheism and homosexuality on Conservapedia, often with the title "liberalism and (non-sequitir)". Conservative's fascination with anti-homosexuality and his determination to consistently highlight the dangers of it has led many to speculate that he is in fact a closet case of the Freudian type.

DanH / MountainDewEdit

Often viewed as one of the nicer, more rational CP sysops, but look out, that smile also has teeth! Under both his user names, ole Danny boy has more blocks for petty and ideological reasons than TK or Conservative. Proof again that you can't judge a book by its cover. He's the guy who looks you in the eyes and says: "Welcome, Friend!, while he shoves the knife deep. Please feel free to start a new article about MountainDew here if you want to.

KarajouEdit

Main article: Karajou

A former swabbie in the U.S. Navy and wannabe law enforcement junkie, he is a less cerebral version of RobS, but far less reticent at pulling the block lever. This poor dolt labors under the impression that just because a vandal/troll/sock uses a certain IP address often, then ALL users with the first 3 digits are trolls/vandals/socks as well! He manages to "defend" CP almost 24/7, on less than 5 hours of sleep each night. Good thing the wife works to support them both, because Karajou is never away from his "command seat" for more than a couple of hours.

Jallen aka NiandraEdit

An Aussie on holiday, and Queen of the generalized, non-specific blocks of hundreds. Ranks third behind Aschlafly and DanH/MountainDew. Protected the vast majority of uploaded pictures in late May.

DeanSEdit

Formerly Crocoite. Is quite possibly the "real deal" Conservative, so also most likely to be turned out the door by Andy for being one of those horrible, anti-Jesus Mormons. Has seemingly jumped ship following his wife's unfortunate death and as of late October 2009 he hasn't edited for over a month. [2] His departure might have been hastened by the fact that TK trumpeted a disgusting message relating to the death on his userpage for some weeks. 

Philip J. RaymentEdit

Now inactive on Conservapedia, PJR was defender of the dinosaur, or at least that dinosaurs and humans co-existed. A nice, well meaning chap, but previously CP's ultimate defender of Young Earth Creationism. Phillip J Rayment left Conservapedia on March 21st 2009, and wrote an essay detailing why. After leaving, he created another conservative, creationist wiki named A Storehouse of Knowlege .

Ed PoorEdit

Ed Poor is like nails down a chalkboard. This may be due to smarmy self-righteousness masked in a weird pseudo-"good faith" thing he has going on. His favorite topics are explaining how to "earn trust", and demanding "writing plans" from peons. Ed was a long-time administrator and bureaucrat at Wikipedia (something he will tell you about often) until events in 2005 and 2006 led to accusations of abuse of power and POV warring, which led to the stripping of his authority.

Ed specializes in stub creation, often making pages that could fit as a Twitter tweet. On other wikis with active editorships, this might result in these pages being expanded, but with so few editors surviving for than a few edits, this doesn't happen on Conserapedia. His other specialties include defending his fellow Moonies and young girls (and their underwear).

FoxEdit

Despite leaving Conservapedia around the time DeborahB was promoted to sysop, the Foxpuppet returned with a vengeance and was duly raised to the ranks of the exalted. Probably the only sysop on CP capable of spotting parody, did more damage to the ConservaScotland and ConservaBritain articles than the rest put together. Or did he put it there in the first place? Fox was bollocked blocked in early 2009 for being a Liberal parodist. [3] He's neither a liberal nor a parodist, by religion he's a Messianic Jew which is a type of Jewish Christian. Christians tend to dislike Mesianic Jews for following parts of Judaism while other believing Jews dislike them for believing that Jesus is the Messiah. They're a bit isolated.

TerryHEdit

Perhaps one of the most angry, sexless sysops, TerryH adopts the founders debate policy well. He hurls insults, then retreats when he loses. Often regarded as being the complete opposite of civility, Terry finds it very difficult to discuss something without resorting to insults - a sure sign of a weak argument. Furthermore, he deletes someones account when they gain the upper hand in majority opinion and reason.

JpattEdit

Conservapedia security guard. Will and does ban anyone who isn't a complete fascist, anyone who doesn't support Ronald Reagan, George Bush and Margaret Thatcher and anyone who doesn't match his criteria is a vandal for him. He also considers Barack Obama to be a socialist, communist, atheist and a Muslim at the same time. This is one of his sillier blocks.

See alsoEdit


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