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The Real Dick Cheney (Eminem Parody - with lyrics)

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A political parody of Eminem's The Real Slim Shady.

LYRICS: "May I have your attention please? May I have your attention please? Will the real Dick Cheney, please don't shoot? I repeat, will the real Dick Cheney please don't shoot? They're gonna try to stay relevant here!"

Y'all act like you've never seen an angry white man before Marbles all on the floor, like Dubya and Condi just walked in the door Started kissing my butt worse than before They first were coerced To spin the false discourse (ahh!) It's the return of the - "Oh, wait, no way, you're kidding He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?" And Karl Rove said: Nothing you lemmings Karl Rove's dead He's locked in my basement Liberal media love S&M Trigga, Trigga, Trigga "Dick Cheney I'm sick of him, look at him Walking around saying I don't know what Siding up to you know who Yeah, but he's so crude though" Yeah, I prolly gotta couple screws up in my head loose But no worse than what's going on in the Fox news room Sometimes I just wanna get on Glenn Beck and let loose I can, but it's not cool for Olberman to come at me with the truth My gun is on my hip, my gun is on my hip And if I'm lucky, it'll only go off a little bit And that's the message that I deliver to scare the kids And I do expect to know what a weapon of mass destruction is Of course they're gonna know what torture is By the time they hit fourth grade They got the C-SPAN don't they? We ain't nothing but hypocrites... Well, some of us syndicates who devour other countries all for profits But if we can topple regimes and oligarchies There's no reason that the people shouldn't believe my malarkey And if you think like I think, there's no antidote Dictators I depose, don't ignore us and it goes

I'm Dick Cheney, yes I'm the real Cheney All you other Dick Cheney's are just irritating So won't the real Dick Cheney please don't shoot? Please don't shoot, please don't shoot

George Bush don't gotta make sense to win elections Well, I do, so forget him and forget you, too You think I give a damn about a civil right Half you critics can't even pick a fight, let alone govern with spite "But, Dick, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?" Why, cause my guys all lied just to get me here So I can, sit me here in a group of my peers Shoot, Dicky Rumsfeld better switch me chairs So I can sit next to Gonzalez and Condi Rice Hear 'em argue over what constitutes a tortuous device Little buggers tried to blast me on liberal TV: "Yeah, he's rude, but I think he's in the pockets of Saudi" I should download some sound bytes of George and me And retell the whole world how Saddam had WMD I'm sick of you little girl and boy reporters, all you do is annoy me So I have been sent here to destroy you And there's a million of us just like me Who lie like me, who just don't give a damn like me Who think like me, walk, talk and act like me And just might blur their Google thing, but not quite me!

Cuz I'm Dick Cheney, yes I'm the real Cheney All you other Dick Cheney's are just irritating So won't the real Dick Cheney please don't shoot? Please don't shoot, please don't shoot

I'm like a broken record to listen to, cuz I'm only giving you Things you should be afraid of when you go outside your living room The only difference is I got the gall to lie in front of y'all And it's always false, and I always sugarcoat it all I just get on the Fix news and spit it and whether you like to admit it I just did it Better than 90% of you politicians out can And you wonder how can masses eat up this BS like molasses It's funny, cuz at the rate I'm going when elected I'll be the only person in the DC protected Coercing senators votes and neglecting who you selected And infecting the electorate with my lies and misdirections And any single person in the Dick Cheney section Could be looking for work in the recession or pawning his possessions Or in the tea-party lot, circling Screaming, I don't give a crud With his spirits down and his placard up So, will the real Cheney please stand up And put one of those fingers on your trigger hand up And be proud to be out of your mind and out of control And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

I'm Dick Cheney, yes I'm the real Cheney All you other Dick Cheney's are just irritating So won't the real Dick Cheney please don't shoot? Please don't shoot, please don't shoot

So? You think I give a hoot about public opinion? Ha, ha. I guess there's a Dick Cheney in all of us. Forget it. Let's all shoot.

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current23:55, October 10, 2015Thumbnail for version as of 23:55, October 10, 201504:39480 × 269 (21 KB)PatrickCunningham (wall | contribs)created video

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