Here we're parodying Conservapedia and we know we're exaggerating.
NO!!! Even Conswervapedia wouldn't be as crazy as this!

The Rabbit still lives...?

The Giant Swimming Rabbit is the evil arch-nemesis of the awesome and renowned Super-President who was Jimmy Carter. Originally intending to cruelly assassinate Carter, probably due to conservative influence, the Giant Swimming Rabbit is notably the only presidential would-be assassin in history to be defeated by her own target.


One day, Carter decided to take a well-deserved break from work, spending his vacation rowing through a swamp. Suddenly, out of the water leaped a vicious swamp rabbit attempted to swallow the president whole. Unfortunately for the furry assassin, Carter was too fast for her, dodging the attack and initiating his all-around transformation into Optimus Prime. Using of course, only non-lethal laser beams as to conform with the sensible liberal philosophy of gun control, the rabbit was unfazed, holding her ground against the patriotic color-schemed ultimate robot. After several days of non-stop action, the rabbit bit into Carter's energy core, and his body began to fall apart...

But then, Carter simply shed off his armor and revealed his second form, the man of steel himself, Superman! Opting to use his Cold Breath to subdue the Rabbit peacefully, his technique froze the lake over, and the rabbit was left with no place to hide. But the rabbit had another trick up his sleeve, picking out of her fur a small necklace of Carternite, the man of steel's only true weakness.

Unable to use his second form, Carter simply changed into his next identity, the enormously strong ultra-wizard Gandalf the Grey. For centuries, a battle raged on, from the lowest cavern to the highest mountain, until the rabbit smote Carter down onto the mountain side, and his body withered.

This would have been the end of Carter, but it just so happens that god himself decided that Carter's work had not yet been finished, and sent him back until what he had yet to do had finally come to pass.

It is said in legend, that Carter spared the life of the Giant Swimming Rabbit, instead stranding her on the moon, where she could no longer harm mankind, and can now be seen by all of humanity as a memento of Carter's supreme greatness.


  • For some reason, Conservatives, tend to discredit Carter of his victory, claiming that he frantically tried to ward the rabbit off with an oar.

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