Here we're parodying Conservapedia and we know we're exaggerating.

Glenn Beck is perhaps the only hope America has of surviving when faced with the iron-fisted Fascist-Socialist-Muslim regime that is Barack HUSSEIN Obama. The great American Republic has been overrun by small minded, big government liberals, and the only way the American people can stop them is by buying Glenn Beck's new book, on sale now at all good bookstores, and Wal-Mart.

Barack HUSSEIN Obama wants to turn YOUR America into a hippie, folk music singing hell hole, where everyone has to drive hybrid cars and the government has taken away our guns. Glenn Beck, perhaps the only man in America, apart from you, with common sense, knows how to stop this, and you can too when you buy Glenn Beck's new book!

Liberals would have you believe that guns are bad for America, Socialism is the way, and that Al Gore is Jesus. Glenn Beck knows better. Glenn Beck asks, at the risk of being silenced by the media CZAR, the right questions, which are, "OBAMA IS TAKING AMERICA ON SAME PATH AS STALINIST RUSSIA - or is he?" and, "LIBERALS ARE IDIOTS - or are they?". To which he always gives the right answers, which are, "Yes, he is. And yes, they are." in his new book, which you should totally buy. Now with added FACTS!

Glenn Beck speaks the truth, and assures you that driving an SUV is perfectly fine and not any more damaging to the environment than a hybrid at all. He also comforts you and your adorable, Aryan family with the knowledge that guns are good for America, and that nothing bad could ever come lax gun control laws and extensive availability to neurotic teenagers, or keeping the equivalent of a military armoury in the basement of the house in which you live with your three toddlers. You can learn to use these facts against the liberal menace in Glenn Beck's new, NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER book. Don't worry, it has plenty of pictures!

His sanity is currently wanted for Criminal Negligence.


Despite the fact that Glenn Beck calls liberals small minded idiots, he believes, deep down in his heart, that all Americans are one, happy community that can unite to fight taxes and Socialism and the Democratic Party.

To emphasise this point, Glenn Beck heroically cried on air, saying "WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO MY JELLY BEANS THE AMERICAN SPIRIT?"
He then proceeded to rally every God-fearing American to his banner, to bring America back to the twelfth of September, 2001. When every American was grief-stricken and hopeless UNITED against TAXES and OBAMA.

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