Herman Cain

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Herman Cain
Cain every day
Political party: Republican
Education: Morehouse College (B.S.)

Purdue University (M.S.)

Religion Baptist
Born December 13 1945
We exaggerate just a little sometimes.

Herman "pizza guy" Cain was one of the 2012 GOP candidates. Like the other candidates, he took the "be as insane as possible" route in order to please conservatives everywhere.


During his campaign, he campaigned for a "9-9-9" flat tax. It would be a 9% income tax, 9% sales tax, and a 9% corporate tax. Yep, he wants rich capitalist pigs to pay the same tax rate as someone barely getting by economically.

Serious manEdit

Herman Cain is a very serious man with very serious goals. For example, if he became president, he would stop China from developing nuclear weapons (that they have had for over fifty years). [1]

Tasteless 9/11 VideoEdit

I don’t even know what to say. I guess Cain can now brag that he’s a former pizza magnate and crass exploiter of tragedies for political gain.
Cain prouced a 9/11 Video for the Tenth Annvirsy of the Attacks. [2]


This part of the article is serious.

He has been accused of sexually assaulting a few women. [3]

  1. Did he do it?
  2. Alternative possibility is it could be racist attempts to smear a black man?


  • Cain believes that Liberals hate black Conservatives like Dr. Ben Carson.[4]Alternatively (Cain doesn't say this.) Liberals hate extreme far right Conservatives regardless of color.
  • Cain thinks that Donald Trump is winning over black women[5]
  • Cain Blamed the January 2016 Stock Market Crash on Obama[6]


  1. Cain Is Worried China Developing Nuclear Bomb They’ve Had Since 1964
  2. Herman Cain produces incredibly tasteless 9/11 video
  3. Herman Cain to respond to 'totally fabricated' sexual assault claims
  4. Herman Cain: Liberals ‘hate’ black conservatives like Carson
  5. Trump Winning Over Black Women, says Herman Cain
  6. Fox News’ Herman Cain Blames Stock Market Plummet On Obama

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