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Are we serious here or are we joking? It should be easy to tell.

The correct title of this article is iPod. Hoever, due to technical restrictions, the title is IPod.

The iPod is a mind control device released by neocons to hypnotize teenagers. It used to contain DRM but Apple was finally forced to remove due to the pressures of people leaving and downloading their music elsewhere. iPods are everything wrong with western society contained within a small media player. Here are some reasons why:

  • 1. It holds more songs than anyone will ever own in their lives.
  • 2. It says 12 hour battery life, but lasts for a very short time (less than 12 hours).
  • 3. Limited rechargeable battery - there are only a certain amount of charges you can use and then you have to pay a bazillion dollars for a new battery. Then the greedy Capitalists profit from selling you a new battery for a bazillion dollars.
  • 4. Covering scratches easily, and if you don't want the screen to look like a cat was trying to find drugs in it, you have to buy a 50 dollar rubber case that yellows with time. the greedy Capitalists profit from selling you a 50 dollar rubber case that yellows with time.
  • 5. So overpriced. $420.00 for it alone, and then a 3-year warranty which bumped it up to $508.00.
  • 6. You will have to buy a new one every year so you aren't beaten up or shunned by your fellow zombies. This on your purported "I cant afford to buy CDs" budget, makes it hard to justify logically and ethically if you happen to use it to contain the X,000 songs you ripped for free from the Internet. Hence by extension the iPod, perhaps unwittingly, contributed to the degradation of logic in zombie teenagers.

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