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Joe the Plumber

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Yes, we're sometimes imaginative, but we hope you will understand when we're joking.

In August 2012, when [Joe the Plumber] was running for office, he suggested America "put a damn fence on the border going to Mexico and start shooting."[1]

Joe the Plumber

Jean-Luc Picard Joe the Plumber campaigning in 2008

Joe the Plumber was a Fictional plumber who became a figure central to the 2008 U.S. presidential election. He was supposed to represent "Middle America" for John McCain as an honest hard working something.

Joe the Plumber (R-Ohio) is the brains behind the Republican Party is a character from The Beyond by Lucio Fulci for a long time he didn't have a real job, other than trailing Sarah Palin around like a puppy. Now Joe is a union guy and works in the auto industry thanks to a government bailout when Chrysler was failing. [2]

Joe the Plumber's real name is Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher. However, this is too long for everyone to remember - Conservatives and Liberals alike - so everyone just decided to call him Joe the Plumber.


John and JoeEdit

During the 2008 US presidential election, John McCain mentioned Joe the Plumber more than 13 times in the first 10 minutes of the third and final Presidential debate. [3]

When it was uncovered that Joe the Plumber was a typical dishonest Conservative and didn't even have a plumbing license[4], this totally backfired on the Republicans.

Conservapedia has no article on Joe the Plumber, because the revelation that he wasn't a licensed plumber was a major kick in the balls to conservatives everywhere. However, if Joe the Plumber had been a Liberal Propaganda tactic, they would've milked him dry. [5]

Joe made the comments that, although he has gay friends, he would "never let those queers around his children."

With friends like Joe the Plumber, who needs enemies?

Great Republican traditionEdit

Joe follows in the great Republican tradition of other plumbers. He's totally planning to start his own plumbing business any day now. Or at least he would be if it weren't for progressive taxation.

He may have caused John McCain to lose the 2008 U.S. Presidential Election due to widespread fears that Mr. the Plumber would be appointed Secretary of Labor, causing the stock market to go higgledy-piggledy.[6]

Joe doesn't want to pay his taxes. No word yet on whether he plans on going Galt. He is, however, a fan of Ludwig von Mises.[7]

Large crowds of Republicans make him horny,[8] and small crowds of disinterested people make him sad.[9]

In the other great Republican traditions of mindless stupidity and rewriting History, a campaign ad made for his bid for Congress blames Gun control for the Holocaust, the Armenian Genocide, and slavery. His campaign manager opines that Joe is "a student of history".[10] Joe wrote an open letter to the parents of Santa Barbara shooting victims, "Your dead kids don’t trump my Constitutional rights. [to carry guns]" [11]

Career successEdit

He was allegedly going to start a career as a country music singer (failed to record a successful album), a writer (failed to gain an advance), a foreign war correspondent (failed miserably in putting together a halfway decent report), a conservative cause spokesman (failure still pending), and run for Congress in 2010 (failed after God said "aw Hell no"[12]).

Political ambitionsEdit

Stop the presses!!! Joe the Plumber left the reservation in May 2009 and decided he didn't like the GOP after all.[13] A long career in the Constitution Party could have awaited. McCain really screwed my life up."[14]

Stop the presses again!!! As of October 2011, he began a run for the House as a Republican.[15] Despite a record that is less than truthful,[16] nobody will have to guess where where he stands.[17] Marcy Kaptur was his Democratic opponent and she defeated him decisively. [18]

Career adviceEdit

Perhaps Joey could consider going to community college or whatever and studying to get a plumbing license so he can become a proper legal plumber. After all plumbing is one job he's done with a modicum of success. perhaps a union job in the auto industry suits him just as well.

Incorporates material they are threatening to delete at RationalWiki

See alsoEdit

FootnotesEdit

  1. 'Joe the Plumber': 'Put a fence on the damn border and start shooting'Joe The Plumber: 'Wanting A White Republican President Doesn't Make You Racist,' It 'Makes You American'We're not sure if this was a joke.
  2. Joe the Plumber gets a new job
  3. [1]
  4. 'Joe the plumber' isn't licensed, Toledo Blade
  5. As things stand, the liberals milked him dry -- that's life.
  6. "Higgledy-piggledy" means "a real mess."
  7. Brad DeLong. "When Reactionary Goldbug Austrian Plumber-Economists Attack!!" Brad DeLong blog. 2008 December 3.
  8. Mary Ann Akers. "Joe the Plumber Wants to Make Love to Washington." The Sleuth. The Washington Post. 2009 March 20.
  9. "Joe The Plumber As Unpopular As Any First-Time Author" Smith, Sarah K. Wonkette. March 2, 2009
  10. [2]
  11. AN OPEN LETTER: To the parents of the victims murdered by Elliot Rodger Wurzelbacher from time to time does things like writing hurtful open letters to parents of young students recently killed. While he carries on with that type of thing we will carry on pointing out how silly he is.
  12. Michael Winter. "Joe the Plumber: God told me not to run for office." USA Today. 2009 July 01.
  13. Eric Kleefeld. "Joe The Plumber: Quitting The GOP?" Talking Points Memo. 2009 May 11.
  14. Richard Adams. "Joe the Plumber dumps on John McCain and Sarah Palin." The Guardian. 2010 February 16.
  15. Brian Browdie. Joe the Plumber confident he can beat Marcy Kaptur in Ohio congressional race." New York Daily News. 2011 October 27.
  16. AmericanUnity. "Meet Joe the Plumber." The Drudge Report. 2008 October 16.
  17. "Samuel Wurzelbacher for Congress." Joe For Congress 2012. accessed 2012 April 19.
  18. Marcy Kaptur coasts to win in 9th District congressional race

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