London
From Liberapedia
The capital of England, located in the southeast. The current Mayor of London is Boris Johnson, an insane conservative satirist.
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Popular perception of London
Many people have some moronic idea that we're stuck in the 19th Century, but we're not (that's probably Americans jealous because there are less than 12,000 gunfire victims each day).
We're also not gay. That's just how we talk.
Actual London
It's an ordinary city, just like New York, or Tokyo. However, as London is very historical and was built before cars were deemed possible, roads had to be inserted at a later date, causing monumental traffic problems.
Landmarks
The main tourist attractions in London are:
- Buckingham Palace - Home of Queen Elizabeth II
- Houses of Parliament - Home of corrupt politicians
- Tower Bridge - Possibly the most famous bridge in the world.
- Big Ben - Definitely the most famous clock in the world.
Yep, London has some amazing landmarks alright.
Pub Quiz fact: Big Ben is the name of the bell inside the clock, the actual clock itself is called St. Nicholas.
Accent
People of London have an apparent inability to pronounce the letter 'L', and all their vowels seem to become 'A's. If you ever find yourself in London, this translator list may prove useful:
- "Nats? Sawce? Andrads n fahsands??" - What would you like on your ice cream Sir? Any nuts, sauce or hundreds and thousands?
- "Alma chizzit" - How much would that item cost to purchase?
- "Oi Oi!" - Hello
- "Cort a panda" - I would like a quarter pounder burger please.
- "Eye-eels mek me lafarjik so I'm assband til Ibeefa" - My high heels make me feel slightly lethargic and as such I'm housebound until we visit Ibiza.
Or, if you get a really cool Londoner:
- "Wud ya Adam n Eve that my trouble n strife is brown bread?" - Can you believe that my wife is dead? (Cockney rhyming slang)
