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Maggie Gallagher

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Maggie-gallagher

Margaret Gallagher Srivastav (born September 14, 1960), better known by her working name Maggie Gallagher, is an American writer, commentator and a rabid anti-gay bigot. If you feel like guessing how attractive she's likely to be to heterosexual men just take a peek at the picture. She also steals mermaid voices. She looks such a cool bitch they really should try showing her at Crufts.

Journalistic obsessionsEdit

She wrote a weekly syndicated column for Universal Press Syndicate where she usually bitched about how gay people are always ruining everything. She particularly resents being labeled a bigot. Just because she has an unnatural obsession with tormenting Gays and wants to create laws that would prevent gay marriage.

Occasionally she complains about other things, like the fact that a woman who has sex with a married man cannot be charged with a civil offense. [1], or that getting Breast implants is something not entirely nice.[2] Well her boobs are probably naturally large like the rest of her so she doesn't need implants. She went through a phase where she hated Porn. She researched this subject tirelessly. Why was she so attracted to it?

BooksEdit

She has published five boring books full of discredited reports and statistics that all have the same message "Marriage is the BEST thing EVER! But only if you're a heterosexual". Gallagher is opposed to same sex anything, so don't get her started on same sex marriage.

President of ...Edit

1192380658nomnomcaketk5

What nom, nom, nom real means

Gallagher serves as president of the "Institute for Marriage and Public Policy", an organization dedicated to making Gay people's lives miserable. She is also the president of the National Organization for Marriage, which is pretty much the same as that other thing I mentioned, but with better graphics. [3]

The National Organization for Marriage is usually abbreviated "NOM". Most people use "nom, nom, nom" in writing to represents the sound made when someone is eating something and really enjoying it.

Roman CatholicEdit

She is a Roman Catholic, so not letting her hate Gay people is violating her religious freedom (it's true, hating Gays is the foundation of Catholicism, just ask Bill Donohue). (Exception:- When Priests do naughty things to little boys the Roman Church traditionally let it continue.) Maggie Gallagher has socialy conservative "values", (if you consider hate a value).[4]

BiographyEdit

Gallagher is from Lake Oswego, Oregon, where she attended Lakeridge High School. She earned a B.A. in Religious Studies from Yale University.

Ringless maggie 425

Notice: "Married" Maggie with no rings on her hands.

Ironically, she managed to get knocked up, by a man with what I can only assume was a severe case of beer goggles (seriously, have you seen her?) she says she looked more attractive then.


Being a single, unwed mother somehow qualified her as an "expert" on marriage... Eventually, she did get married to a Raman Srivastav in 1993, I mean for a marriage "expert" who has marriage "rallies" (hetero marriage rallies, thank you very much!) it seems a little suspicious that at EVERY event she has to invent some excuse why he couldn't be there...

Hindu gods
Gallagher does not wear a wedding or engagement ring, she says due to circulation problems. Oh, by the way...Raman Srvstvn is Hindu. It's true, Ms. Holier than thou Catholic is allegedly married to an idol worshiper who prays to many, many gods, breaking TWO commandments. [5]

I know you think I'm making this up to make this article interesting but here is a direct quote "I've been exposed to a lot of different prayers, what with a New Age mom, nonreligious siblings, my own Catholic Faith, a Buddhist sister-in-law, and a whole pack of Hindu relations (including my husband)." [6]

Religious inconsistencyEdit

Everyone knows that breaking ANY of the Ten Commandments is far graver a sin than breaking any of the rules in Leviticus, where Maggie's favorite rule about man on man sex is condemned. Most of the other sins in Leviticus are things like, don't eat shrimp or bacon (Maggie does, obviously, look at her), don't wear mixed fiber blends (exhibit A red poly/cotton seperate from TJ Maxx), giraffe meat is kosher, mutilate your boy's penis, no fucky-fucky when Aunt Flo's around, when you can have sex with your slaves (anytime), (How many sex slaves are appropriate? As many as you can afford to feed), some MORE stuff about not worshipping idols and no disabled, permanently ill, dwarves, near or farsighted, hunchbacked, testicularly damaged or superfluously blemished can become a priest.

Dan QuayleEdit

Her big break came when Dan Quayle got all pissy at fictional Television character, Murphy Brown for fictionally getting knocked up (like she herself once did) and Gallagher wrote an op-ed for The New York Times, called "An Unwed Mother for Quayle", because naturally, being the insufferable hypocrite that she is, it got her pissed off too.[7]

ReferencesEdit

  1. Gallagher, Maggie (Mar. 2010). "The Right to Adultery?" National Review Online.
  2. Girls Just Wanna Have Boob Jobs
  3. "About the National Organization for Marriage." National Organization for Marriage. accessed 2009-02-16.
  4. Conservative Chronicle
  5. Maggie Gallagher: One Woman’s Catholic Marriage Dilemma
  6. "Why Kids in Galveston Haven't a Prayer." uexpress.com.
  7. An Unwed Mother For Quayle

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