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Polar bear

They're cute... until they start eating your face.

A polar bear is a big, white-furred bear that lives in the Artic circle. Their scientific name is Ursus Maritimus. Polar bears are the largest living land carnivore, they are even bigger than their evolutionary relatives: the brown and black bears. Under their white fur and black skin, these bears have a big layer of fat above their enormous amount of muscle. As explained in the Native American article (in the Inuit section) fat is the same as blubber and acts as a natural jacket.

Polar bears sometimes prey upon beluga whales, but mostly prey on much smaller seals by ambushing them when they come out of their ice hole. Very rarely, they will go over to a walrus herd and find an unprotected young one, an old or sick one, or a walrus that happens to be badly injured. They don't really go after healthy full grown walruses since they are too dangerous, deadly walrus tusks could kill a polar bear and they would be very difficult kill since they are so large. Polar bears are the apex land predator in their area, and their main natural worry when it comes to other animals is pretty much other polar bears. Polar bears do hibernate in dens or homes made in thick snow, and mothers will usually have cubs before they begin their hibernation. Males will actually try to kill and eat the cubs, as they don't recognise that they're their own or they just simply don't care. Male polar bears will fight, like many animals. Females, on the other hand, don't fight unless another polar bear is trying to get their cubs, as polar bear fathers or males will try and eat the cubs or kill them so that way the female has no cubs in hope of making them more willing to mate with them. Polar bears live round the Arctic but don't live in Antarctica.

Sarah Palin hates polar bears. She believes they are evil and a devil abomination. She is so extreme she sued the Bush administration to have polar bears kicked off the Endangered Species List to get more oil drilling room. It's a proven fact because it is on the internet (Careful the internet can be wrong or it may lie, and it is known. Last warning of Satire), so there.

Anyway, Sarah Palin personally shoots polar bears from helicopters in an effort to move them off the endangered species and onto the extinct list. Because of this she will never match Theodore Roosevelt as a hunter.


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