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Republican Party

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Here we're parodying Conservapedia and we know we're exaggerating.

If you want to lead the Republican Party it's best to be dumb. See The War on Intellectualism

"“Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a Republican. But I repeat myself.”"- Harry S Truman

The Republican Party, also known as GOP (Grand Old Party), is the Conservative party of the United States of America.

Republican-elephant

Republican Logo

HistoryEdit

Though the party's intentions were originally good in the days of Lincoln and the progressives of the early 20th Century, things have gone horribly wrong since William Howard Taft's presidency, culminating in such presidents as Ronald Reagan who spent all the country's money on battleships that no longer work. His administration also kept the lid on information about the spread of HIV/AIDS because of their homophobia, when sharing this information may have stopped the spread of the disease. If that’s true it’s all bad as Murder.

The modern Republican PartyEdit

The modern Republican Party is unified by a collective disdain for reality, logic, taxes, and minorities.

The Republican Party is distinguished by its platform of reducing taxes on the wealthy, subsidizing large corporations, catering to the pharmaceutical industry at the expense of the average citizen, drilling for oil and leveling old growth forest in all the nation's national parks and wildlife refuges, giving incredibly lucrative non-bid government and military contracts to corporations such as Halliburton (in which former Vice President Cheney just coincidentally has enormous investments), depleting the Social Security Fund, denying affordable health care to millions of Americans, tryiung to pressure every citizen to become an evangelical Christian, tryiung to deny the possibility of abortion even if it is the only measure that will save a mother's life, keeping undocumented immigrants illegal to maintain cheap labor for business, blocking improved mileage and emission standards in vehicles to keep GM and Ford happy, supporting the use of torture and abrogating every international treaty the nation has ever signed.

The Republican Party has also developed great technical skill in dirty tricks used to steal elections and discredit critics. These tricks are even used against each other, as when George W. Bush's campaign spread rumors about John McCain and denigrated his military service to win the primary campaign in 2000. They have included the use of intimidation to prevent vote recounts in Florida during that same election, and a successful attempt to block phone lines in New Hampshire to counter a Democratic Party get out the vote initiative.

The party of BIGEdit

The modern Republican Party is the party of BIG:

  • Big Money
  • Big Oil
  • Big Media
  • Big Banks
  • Big Prisons
  • Big Business
  • But never Big Government or Big Labor or Big Co-ops, since those might let little people catch up.

Note: when used commonly, "Republican party" is an Oxymoron.

GOPEdit

Here we're parodying Conservapedia and we know we're exaggerating.
  1. GOP (n) Gay old Pedophile
  2. (n) plural: "Gas, Oil, and Petrol"
  3. (n) The "grand old party" : The Nazi party of the U.S.A. [1]
  4. (n) alternatively "Guarding Our Privilege"

The party of greed, power mongering, carelessness with guns, war profiteering, vulture capitalism and other forms of corruption. Recently they noticed how stupid this sounded and instead called themselves the "Grand Obsructionist Party." {citation needed}

EconomicsEdit

The party's economic views include cutting taxes to the rich so that they can have even more money than America's working class. Once again the hypocrisy shines in the party while they frequently demand lobbying reform and simultaneously get kickbacks from big business.

They claim that cutting taxes will create jobs, which is an utter lie, as seen with the Bush tax cuts. Many Republican people are not job creators, but rather lawyers or wall street bankers. Then the ones that do create jobs do so by outsourcing to China and Mexico where people work for chicken feed.

Furthermore, they refuse to help poor people with welfare and food stamps, forcing them to remain poor and spend less money, which is bad for even those greedy capitalists.

Undemocratic controlEdit

The party took control in the country by appointing George W. Bush to the presidency despite losing the election to Al Gore in 2000. They lost the mid-term elections in 2006, but Bush still managed to ignore the people's will and remain in Iraq. Next the people voted for Obama.

Also before Reagan health inspectors could go into supermarkets and inspect meat and pull it if it was bad. Not anymore. How's that for protecting people?

President Carter stated before he left office that his goal was to have 20% of the country's electricity to come from Renewable energy, (he wanted solar power) in the year 2008. Reagan killed that bill. That hurt ordinary Americans since in 2008 gas was $12.00 a gallon. The Repubilcan Party attempted to oust President Obama and replace him with Mitt Romney in 2012. Mitt Romney lost because of his insensitivity to the poor. Despite Mitt Romney's loss, the Republican Party managed to keep the House due to gerrymandering.

Religion

This article attacks Conservative Christians though we recognise that Liberal Christians can be better.

Religion is one way Republicans try to control the masses. Basically Republicans try and convince people that only Conservative Christians will be saved and many in the congregations of Fundamentalist Christian churches act as if that were true. That can translate to, "Vote Republican or go to Hell."

They often like to claim they're moral, but they would rather abuse the power of religion. Most Liberapedians are Atheist and can't be brainwashed by their propaganda. Republicans are often mad Christian fundamentalists who believe in and support the movements of Creationism and Intelligent Design and want those to be taught in schools.
Bible

Bible. The Republicans' mind control device. And they don't even need to read it.

See alsoEdit

External linksEdit

VideosEdit

FootnotesEdit

  1. Seriously only the very worst of the Republicans like the KKK are any way near as bad as Nazis. Yes, their policies in Iraq lead to mass killing close to Genocide but they probably didn’t intend it. Remember saying people are Nazis when they aren’t can make you lose the argument, see Godwin's law.

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