Rick Perry

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James Richard Perry
20160220 175754
Mr. Perry
Political Party: Democratic (Before 1989)

Republican (1989–present)

Education: Texas A&M University
Religion Nondenominational Evangelicalism
Born March 4, 1950
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James Richard "Rick" Perry is the current Governor/Emperor of Texas and and has been since December 21, 2000. His intelligence is called into question by none other than George W. Bush[citation needed] , which is saying something. Perry is a legit homophobe, as he believes that gays are like alcoholics. He is also a CSA sympathizer, and lives on a ranch named after a racial slur. He extremely religious as well. He tried running for President in 2012, but he doesn't know how to debate (a rather large problem). Perry tried to run for president again in 2016 but dropped out early. [1] Perry announced that he was ending his presidential campaign on an emotional day, September 11 2015 which is the anniversary of 9/11.

Perry likes shooting things.

Rick Perry hates everything that is not:

  1. White
  2. American
  3. Christian
  4. Creationist
  5. Remotely Right Wing
  6. Strait
  7. Homophobic
  8. Anti-Liberal

Presidential ElectionEdit

Just before the Iowa Straw Poll, Perry announced his campaign for President.  He held a gigantic prayer rally.  It was supposed to make Christians vote for him; but by the time the Iowa Caucus came around, the excitement had worn off.  The only thing that Perry made people do was make non-Texans who had never heard of him and are smart enough to be agnostic/atheist/ and understand the 1st Amendment and liberal realize how stupid he is.


During his campaign, a preacher from a megachurch named Robert Jeffress endorsed Perry by attacking Mitt Romney and saying that Mormons aren't Christians.  He then said that Perry was the only guy who was conservative enough for evangelical Christians. [2]  Of course, this argument has several problems.  The most obvious is that Robert Jeffress obviously has never heard of Rick Santorum (just as conservative), or Michele Bachmann (just as evangelical, conservative, and Tea Party).  The other major issue is that Mormons believe that Jesus Christ is their savior, which doesn't make much sense, but defines them as Christian.   And then there's the fact that evangelical Christians are wrong most of the time.


People like him because he says Texas accounted for 49.9% of the job growth in America.  That's true if you twist the facts to include all the states, not just the ones with job growth; and don't account for Texas's population growth.  Also, he overstated the number of jobs making  above the Minimum wage. Texas is ranked 24th in unemployment, which is barely in the top fifty percent[3].


  • a super pac person named Nathan Walder is trying to get Perry back in the race. Let's hope that does not happen.[4]
  • He likes Ted Cruz's tax plan & debate performance[5]
  • On January 16 2016 Perry's legal fees went up $2.5 Million[6]
  • In 2016 Rick Perry registered as a lobbyist in Florida. [7]
  • Some people have said that Perry should be a fan of Alan Krueger.[8]


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