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Sarah Palin

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Sarah Louise Palin
Palin
Sarah Palin used to be a beauty queen [1] and Republicans hoped she would be a VPILF (Vice President I Like to F***) but she didn't make it.
Political party: Republican
Education: University of Idaho, Moscow
Religion Nondenominational Christianity
Born February 11, 1964

Sarah Palin (born February 11, 1964 under the full name Sarah Moosejaw Oil fetish Heath), was the Governor of Alaska for half a term before she sketchily resigned for no apparent reason. But until 7AM on an August morning in 2008, few people in the other 49 states knew who she was...or cared to know. On August 29, 2008 Senator John McCain named her nominee for United States Vice President, also for no apparent reason. As vice presidential candidate Palin's extreme rhetoric was even called a threat to Democracy. [2]

As governor of Alaska she fired her ex brother in law, and got her husband a job as an executive with the BP company. She collaborated with Ted Stevens over a controversial pipeline that did some trouble to Canadian first nations. Later, she tried to cover that up. [3]

Sarah Palin hates polar bears; she believes they are evil and likely believes them to be the devil's abomination. She even tried to persuade the Bush administration to remove polar bears from the Endangered species List to acquire more land space for oil drilling. [4].

Fortunately, Americans had enough sense not to elect McCain or her they lost badly. She might have run for president in 2012 with Joe the Plumber as a running mate. There may have been no Republican better than she is, which is saying a lot. At least Palin and Joe stood for something, Romony just flip flopped.

Palin wants Carly Fiorina to be more like Donald Trump.[5]

Origin and educationEdit

Palin hails from Wasilla, Alaska and is a former beauty pageant queen who dropped out of four other colleges before finally graduating from the University of Idaho with a degree in journalism.

[6] Palin made what look like two mistakes with her English then tried to say she was coining new words. [12] Has anyone thought of buying her a really good dictionary next Christmas?

NewspapersEdit

When asked which newspapers she reads, Sarah Palin once famously responded, "all of them." This is commonly assumed to be an admission that Palin not only does not read any newspapers, but that, given her propensity for lying, she couldn't even think of a newspaper. Regardless, if ever given the opportunity to ask Sarah Palin a question, one should ask her thoughts on an editorial in The Yemen Times, as it's a newspaper, and she reads all of them.

Would she have been a bad VP, if elected?Edit

  • Palin believes that Ronald Reagan the Sky Wizard created the world...6,000 years ago. [7]
  • She believes in Abstinence-Only Sex-Ed [8], and thinks sex should only happen after marriage [9]. Yet, she has a knocked-up daughter [10]. (Well Abstinence education didn't stop her daughter getting pregnant and it's sad when teens like Bristol Palin don't get the Contraceptive education that they need.) Palin does maintain that abstinence is not 100% as shown by Sky Wizard's Son. It seems she opened her hotel door early in the morning wearing only a towel. Not exactly the best way to promote abstinence. [11] But this hypocrisy should not be surprising, Sexual hypocrisy is a trademark of the Republican party.
  • She tells lies, although this is not surprising, either, considering that this is a common trait amongst conservative politicians. What is noteworthy is that she's extraordinarily dumb, even for a creationist. [12]
  • It seems that Palin hasn’t got 'round to studying geography. Apparently, she didn’t even know that Africa is a continent; she thought it was all one country. [13] While the Republican Party may be full of idiots, don't they have someone who's at least marginally more suitable as Vice President? It looks like they don't.
  • She abused her power as governor in Alaska. [14][15] She sacked Public Safety Commissioner Walt Monegan. She says he refused to sack Michael Wooten, a state law enforcement official, and Mr. Wooten was unsuitable for the job. Her opponents say this was a family dispute, because Mr. Wooten was involved in a bitter divorce action against Palin’s sister. Sensible people know that when something like that happens you get an impartial person to decide who should be sacked. Even sysops on wikis know that if they have a personal dispute and the other party seems to need a block you get an impartial admin to deal with it.
  • She can dish it out but she can't take it!

He (McCain) also said his running mate Sarah Palin inspired people and predicted she "would play a big role in the future of this country". [16].

Does that mean she’ll carry on embarrassing the Republican Party and the United States? [17]



  • For a simulation of a hypothetical McCain-Palin presidency, watch Evita.
  • Her position on LGBT Rights is to "pray away the gay"...which explains her hair.[19]

She's resigned as Governor of AlaskaEdit

Has little Sarah lost confidence in herself? Why on Earth could she possibly think that she's not up to her job. Her resignation came shortly after many people filed ethics complants against Palin's government. Accountablity in government, and personal ethics in politics were ironically two main things she ran her campaign on in 2006 for Governor.

Gaffe-filled interviews were seized on by critics as reasons why she was not up to the job. In one she cited Alaska's proximity to Russia as evidence of her foreign policy credentials, in another she appeared unsure of what constituted the vice-president's role. Comedians mocked her on prime time television and some members of her own party rounded on her [13]

Can Palin give any guarantee that if elected as President of the United States or Vice President of the United States she won't resign halfway through the term?

FamilyEdit

Palin-Prejean-2012

Palin-Prejean 2012? Sarah Palin

Palin's oldest son Track is a high school drop out arrested for domestic violence and more. [20] Palin's oldest daughter nearly dropped out after becoming pregnant at 17 years old. Her husband is a slave of big oil and kills innocent animals for fun.

Despite her profound ignorance and alarming political views, most men regard her as a bit of a popsy and wouldn't say no.

Death Panel AllegationsEdit

During Barack Obama's push for healthcare reform, Palin mentioned some nonsense about killing people who weren't fit for society as judged by the government. Keith Olbermann has explained why the death panel idea is dangerously irresponsible.

Too little, too late, too obvious. Madam (Sarah Palin), you are a clear and present danger to the safety and security of this nation. Whether the 'death panel' is something you dreamed, or something you dreamed-up, whether it is the product of a low intellect and a fevered imagination, or the product of a high intelligence and a sober ability to exploit people, you should be ashamed of yourself for having introduced it into the public discourse, and it should debar you, for all time, from any position of responsibility or trust in the governance of this nation or any of its states or municipalities. [14]

Don't take everything we write seriously.

Despite numerous accusations of this statement being another one of her horrible lies, secret documents from the Obama Administration revealed Palin to be on those panels (along with Marco Rubio, Terri Schaivo, and Greg Giraldo), though her child with Down Syndrome was deemed to be fit enough to be pardoned from the death panels.

Signs of CrazinessEdit

During her political career, Palin has exhibited numerous symptoms of having been poisoned with lead, possibly from eating paint chips.

  • Palin claims to be able to see Russia from her house (irrational belief/lie, just plain silly).
  • Has an imaginary friend named Joe the Plumber Who many believe to be a real person named Samuel who in fact is not a plumber.
  • Claimed to have read all magazines then was unable to name one she read (incredible lie!).
  • Has been involved in beauty pageants.

She:-

  • Keeps referring to old ladies as "grizzly bears"
  • Refers to female Republican candidates she supports as "Mama Grizzlys"
  • Follows a crazy church (be AMAZED at Sarah Palin's crazy church - documentary)
  • Thinks that the War in Iraq was a task from God
  • Asked her church to pray for a controversial pipeline
  • Has a lot of critera from the DSM-IV
  • Faked the pregnancy of Trig Paxson Van Palin.

There's even a bookEdit

Palin's so crazy that a book titled "Blind Allegiance to Sarah Palin: A Memoir of Our Tumultuous Years" , released on May 24, 2011, was authored by a former aide to her who is still a conservative, Frank Bailey and he wasn't afraid to speak out against her after what he witnessed when he campaigned and worked for her when she was Governor of Alaska.

This explosive, up-close view of Sarah Palin comes from an inner-circle confidant who shares surprising information about how Sarah dealt with staff and perceived “enemies,” and the discrepancy between what she said and what she did. [15]

The co-authors of the book are two liberals, Ken Morris and Jeanne Devon.



FootnotesEdit

  1. Sarah Palin: Former Beauty Queen, Future VP?
  2. Sarah Palin blamed by the US Secret Service over death threats against Barack Obama
  3. [1]
  4. [2]
  5. Sarah Palin advises Carly Fiorina to be more like Donald Trump: Carly Fiorina in the news
  6. We've no idea how she got her degree as we're sure she wouldn't have done anything naughty like bribing examiners or paying someone to write essays for her. Sarah's such a good little girl.
  7. [3]
  8. [4]
  9. [5]
  10. [6]
  11. [7]
  12. Dumb Sarah Palin Quotes, Gaffes and Lies - Updated Frequently
  13. [8]
  14. Palin abused power, probe finds
  15. Qu&A: Palin 'Troopergate' affair
  16. [9]
  17. Who cares if she embarrasses the Republicans? They have about thousands of public figures just like her. Do her and her party deserve each other?
  18. [10]
  19. [11]
  20. Track Palin Was Arrested Last Night for Domestic Violence

External linksEdit

VideosEdit

ReferencesEdit

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