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Soccer

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We sometimes like to mix parody and satire with good information. We know you're smart enough to tell the difference.

Soccer is a sport practiced by most countries internationally; it represents passion and anger towards an inflated piece of rubber or leather to the extreme. It is regarded as one of the best things in America except for football, hookers, alcohol, guns, and everything else. The game consists of two teams players kicking a ball; the players are often donned in minimal protection, I.E. a mouth guard and shin guards, whilst large pigs spend an hour preparing for American Football, if you will. Soccer may also be referring to the popular sport of parents buying massive cars, (See The worst vehicle EVER), to carry their two kids, who own bikes, to the park.

Soccer

Conservatives are NOT this tough...Really.

The Positive Sides of Soccer Edit

  1. It passes the time otherwise spent crying over the world.
  2. You actually get to use your head... You can't do that with anything else in the world, (Except for Liberapedia)
  3. It is a good metaphor to use when writing an insulting, (Towards Large Bigots, only...) article that no one cares about.
  4. Most liberals can get into rather good shape by practicing it daily, but, alas, conservatives have yet to do so, for their heads are of no use.
  5. IT ALLOWS YOU TO SCREAM LOUDLY OVER SOMETHING FOR ONCE, (GOALLLLL!!!).
  6. You will become a rather athletic person, thus you may ride your bike to work EVERY day... HIGH 5!
  7. Save the environment! All you need to play this game is there; simply bring a ball, perhaps even going barefoot is within your reach.
  8. Again, you get to yell GOALLLLL!!!
  9. Also, yelling GOALLLLL!!! is more fun than touchdown, for everyone says it.
  10. There is a rooster at the world cup for every cheering crowd.

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