Vampires are creatures which typically drink blood as nourishment. Vampires love the dark because then nice people can’t see the horrid things they are doing. Conservatives don’t want people to see the horrid things they are doing either.
Conservatives would say that Vampires are liberals, because they do not believe in god. Liberals know the Vampires are conservatives as evidenced by the pasty white skin, anti-social behaviours, red eyes, and consumption of small children.
Conservatives Vampires like guns to be freely available. Then people get shot and there are plenty of corpses that can turn into vampires.
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