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Zombies are the "walking dead", and play a prominent role in Christian mythology.

Funny how the oft-cited Josephus, and anyone else for that matter, missed the WALKING DEAD!

Zombies in the BibleEdit

Matthew 27:51-53 And, behold, the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom; and the earth did quake, and the rocks rent; And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose, And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many. [1]

The big question remains: What did the zombies do after their waltz through town? Go back and rebury themselves? Live on forever? (Shut up Larry King haters.) Start metal/thrash rock groups? Some consider it odd that the writers of the time did not consider an invasion of zombie saints to be an event worth recording.

As usual, the ever-reliable Thomas Paine provides a great of critique of this account:

The book ascribed to Matthew says that there was darkness all over the land from the sixth hour to the ninth hour-that the veil of the temple was rent in twain from top to bottom - that there was an earthquake - that the rocks rent - that the graves opened, that the bodies of many Saints that slept arose and came out of their graves after the resurrection, and went into the holy city and appeared to many. Such is the account which this dashing writer of the book of Matthew gives, but in which he is not supported by the writers of the other books.

The writer of the book ascribed to Mark, in detailing the circumstances of the crucifixion, makes no mention of any earthquake, nor of the rocks rending, nor of the graves opening, nor of the dead man walking out. The writer of the book of Luke is silent also on the same points. And as to the writer of the book of John, though he details the circumstances of the crucifixion down to the burial of Christ, he says nothing about either the darkness, the veil of the temple, the earthquake, the rocks, the graves, nor the dead men...

It is an easy thing to tell a lie, but it is difficult to support the lie after it is told. The writer of the book of Matthew should have told us who the saints were that came to life again and went into the city, and what became of them afterwards, and who it was that saw them - for he is not hardy enough to say that he saw them himself - whether they came fully dressed and where they got their dresses; whether they went to their former habitation and reclaimed their wives, their husband and their property, and how they were received, whether they entered ejectments for the recovery of their possessions or whether they died again, or went back to their graves alive and buried themselves. Strange indeed that an army of saints should return to life and nobody knew who they were, or who it was that saw them, and that not a word more should be said upon the subject, nor these saints have anything to tell us!"[2]

Zombie Holocaust!Edit

Some people think that 9/11 caused the current obsession with Zombies.[3]

The Zombie Holocaust has been a staple of post-apocalyptic film and fiction. It is thought that the origins trace back to the 1954 novel I Am Legend by Richard Matheson (Great book. Pathetic movie). Though the monsters in the novel were not Zombies in the strictest sense, it began a genre which is usually defined by the following hallmarks -

  • A virus, either manmade or natural, that causes zombification
  • Worldwide (sometimes localised) societal destruction
  • A single survivor or small faction of survivors
  • Gore

Modern incarnations of the zombie holocaust theme are usually associated with George Romero who made "Night of Living Dead, and continued with "Dawn of the Dead" (later remade), "Day of the Dead", "Land of the Dead" and most recently, "Diary of the Dead". Other notable zombie holocaust films include "28 Days Later" and "REC". In Romero movies the zombies are always "shufflers" and in other films they are "runners". Purists state that zombies should always shuffle while others believe the runners are scarier. But really, who cares?

Rules for surviving a Zombie HolocaustEdit

  • Arm yourself to the teeth
  • If someone is bitten, DO NOT, under any circumstances, take them with you. Leave them behind as they will turn and they will attack you.
  • If you run into a small band of survivors they will most likely be soldiers who will either want to kill you for your woman and supplies or will be set on creating a new society where the "mistakes" of the past are not repeated - be on your guard.
  • Zombies travel in packs - where you see one you can be sure others are nearby.
  • While zombies are slow moving and seemingly easy to outrun be aware that they will ambush you when you least expect it.
  • Zombies can sustain massive injuries, such as losing limbs and vital organs. The only sure method to kill a zombie is a well placed shot to the brain.
  • Once you have barricaded yourself into a safe place one of your party will go nuts and will try to hurt you. Make sure you keep a weapon handy.
  • Remember - there is no hope. But sometimes there is.
  • Cardio - Stay fit, stay alive.
  • Double Tap - If the zombie is on the ground, another shot to the head will be sure.
  • When in doubt, know your way out.

See alsoEdit


  1. Matthew 27:51
  2. Paine, Thomas; The Age of Reason p202-205
  3. Did 9/11 Cause Publishing's Zombie Feeding Frenzy?
Adapted from RationalWiki

Can you imagine what it’s like to be dying in some dirty place with cockroaches biting you while you are still alive? I can’t -- though Scientologists let Lisa McPherson die that way. If you’ve the stomach for them here’s the Autopsy photos.

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